Wonderbread 5

It occurred to me that some of you may have heard that I've been trying to start an Air Supply interpretive dance troupe and that you might be wondering what kind of response I've received. Well let me tell you, I've had a huge response to the whole ASID thing. I can't tell you how many people have called, emailed, or stopped me on the street to say, "Why?" I just smile and say, "Because it'll be funny."

And then they usually come back with, "Yeah, but it'll be awful, don't you know that music and comedy don't mix?" This never fails to catch me off guard and I stammer something about Barenaked Ladies. At this point, most normal people come to the conclusion that I am completely insane and begin to back slowly down the street. It's not until they are about ten blocks away that I remember the Blues Brothers and Wonderbread 5.

There's no denying that Wonderbread 5 is funny. I mean just the name is funny, especially when you find out that they're a bunch of white guys covering Jackson 5 tunes. Now that's funny, but they're even funnier looking. Yes, they wear ugly seventies clothes, and I mean ugly-ugly, not kind of cool-ugly, but they also wear huge white-boy afros. Blonde lead singer, Jeffrey Fletcher, sounding a lot like a twelve year old black kid from Indiana, sports a big dome of yellow curls.

But just because a band looks funny, and are funny intrinsically, does that mean that we should assume they necessarily suck? I say, not in this case. I know that with Jermaine's regrettable solo attempts, and Michael's slow transformation into Mr. Hyde it's easy to forget that the Jackson 5 were once bright, shiny new stars on the pop and R&B charts.

(One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch girl, but the Victory tour and Patricia Hearst-esque marriage to Lisa Marie sure does.)

These guys not only remind their audience that the Jackson 5 used to be good, with their blues-informed guitar and we-used-to-be-a-punk-band-in-the-80s attitude, they never let them forget that Wonderbread 5 ain't exactly chopped liver. Hey, it's your thing, do what you want to do, but you should check Wonderbread out at the Velvet Lounge and request "Blame it on the Boogie." They do a ten minute version of the 70s standard dance tune that you'll wish was twenty.

They can also be seen at other clubs besides the Velvet Lounge, but none with a dance floor big enough to get your groove on right to tunes like "Off the Wall" and "ABC." Besides, Wonderbread 5 has a big Marina-crowd following (don't hold it against them), and you'll need lots of space between you and all those Gap sweaters and tiny backpacks.

Call for information. The Velvet Lounge, 443 Broadway. 415-788-0288.

Melinda Whitehouse

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