Whiz Burgers Drive-In

700 South Van Ness Avenue (18th Street)

Tel: 415-824-5888

A friend of the Camera's recently recruited me to play a character in a movie, referred to in the script as "SUBORDINATE." My role involved physical violence and lots of fake blood, and I had such provocative lines as "Yes, sir," and "Unusually quiet. This time, they may not even come."

But the director was smart. You see, before any make-up was applied, he took us all out to Whiz Burgers, a place I hadn't been to in a while.

And let me tell you, Method acting aside, there is no better way to prepare for a part in which you spend most of your time on camera lying in a pool of blood than digesting some good solid red meat, particularly in the form of something called a Whiz Burger. Tons of grub in your system to keep you on the ground. Accept no substitute. When you have to play dead, you'd better not move. A good drive-in burger is the only answer.

Folks, you've got tons of options here, and many of them are good ones. There's the Whiz Chicken on Rye, a couple of burrito alternatives, but, most importantly, the Whiz Burger clan is none too stingy about handling guys like me who order burgers without the customary two tons of mayo.

For $3.50, you can get the 1/4 burger special, which will give you a good sized burger that's a cut above In 'N Out, with some fries and a hefty-sized drink. If you're feeling particularly meat-deprived, for abouty fifty cents more, you can get a third pounder. That's a damn good deal, particularly with a place that has the old diner character of Whiz Burgers.

I have no idea how long Whiz Burgers has been in business, but carbon testing dated the cool old-style menu back to at least the late '60's. Then there's the yellow around the menu, the kind of thing today's interior designers can't seem to pull off with any integrity, and the nostalgic (although sticky) picnic tables out front. They don't make places like Whiz Burgers anymore. Even with the loud KMEL music blaring from the speaker and mild vandalism, Whiz seems to have done its best to keep up the halcyon decor.

Edward Champion

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