Whiskey Thieves

(previous management, Julip)
839 Geary
[between Hyde and Larkin]
(415) 409-2063

I remember pulling Susie aside around midnight at Whiskey Thieves last night and saying, "I'm done. The night is over for me. I am going home. Finish your pool game."

Fortunately, she soon followed my lead. She was at my apartment in time to put me in bed with some Aleve after I hit my head on the radiator while playing with the Kitty. She was also there to make kickass rigatoni and margarine and to answer my phone, telling all of the people I had drunk-dialed during the walk home that I'd call them tomorrow. (Thank God the "guy I'm casually seeing" knew better than to take me up on my offer of, "Come over!")

This morning I feel a lot better, and I even remember that Whiskey Thieves was a pretty sweet bar, all "everyplace rules when I'm hella drunk" feelings aside.

WT has been open for less than a month, and some details make this apparent. For instance, the presence of "unfinished wooden booth/chair thingie circling the pool table," which I've been assured will be painted eventually and look hot. Other "newness" indicators aren't disparaging by any means, but are simply unfamiliar to the TL dive bar type. Like the Internet Jukebox. (And despite the owner's quips about "Lower Russian Hill," this bar is in TL territory. Ask any streetwalker outside.)

How about this to disorient you: there's a 5000" flat panel that always plays sports at the back of the bar, behind the pool table (which costs a $1). The TV is the first thing you notice when you peek into WT, deciding whether or not you want to check this place out, but trust me, it's no sports bar. There are elaborate mirrors hung behind the bar, complemented by a purple paint job and an adequate supply of darkness. You might expect the bartenders to be wearing black button-downs with Robert Smith hair, but they're just normal guys, serving (very yummy) cocktails while downing beers themselves. The place was a little gaudy, without being goth, but this is contrasted nicely with a well-lit pool table area in the back and clean, spacious restrooms. (There's also a trap door behind the pool table and, if you're feeling sexy, you should sneak down the stairs and make out).

Over-sized Chimay ashtrays are provided for all, as this is a legal smoking establishment. I think this rules, but if you don't - Get. Out. Of. The. Tenderloin. We all smoke here. All of us!

What poisoned me last night was the Hoegaarden, one of many fine beers on tap (all the normal stuff really: Chimay, Bass, Anchor Steam, etc., addition of Hoegaarden and Kro-nan-berg? and absence of Stella). Price rundown?

$3 Domestic bottle
$4 Imported bottle
$4 Drafts, except Hoegaarden
$5 Hoegaarden (and so worth every penny)

$4 Well
$5 Call

HAPPY HOUR everyday 4PM - 8PM
All drinks - $1 off

I'll continue to frequent this bar for the good service and drinks but, since it's only been open a month, the clientele is a little hard to pinpoint right now. Some nights have been filled with older professionals and some nights, a younger, hip crowd. The latter would seem more appropriate given the bar's decor, but the former will probably win out, considering the drink prices.

Layne Karafantis August 2004