The ruler of Tuesday nights in gay clubs has long been Trannyshack at The Stud. It's part club night, part tranny burlesque, and all a delightful mess.

This is not by any means some sort of drag review put on for tourists. It's not for the faint of heart. The crowd is comprised of about one-third trannies (you recognize them by the heels,) and tranny-chasers (you'll recognize them by their suits,) and two-thirds club hipsters. The music played before and after the show is a less dance-oriented mix of random songs pulled from the great jukebox of camp. It seems you'll almost always hear one Dolly Parton song and several 80's hits every week. Needless to say, the night is not about great music.

At midnight, the "show" begins. You'll know that it's about to start when you hear the theme from the Muppet Show ("It's time to put on makeup, it's time to light the lights...") Soon you hear the nasally, horrible voice of hostess Heklina welcoming you. The first order of business is to announce the drink special for anyone dressed in drag. Excessive alcohol consumption is the cornerstone of this night. The co-host is welcomed and the evening's witty banter begins. "We're sorry that we're getting a bit of a late start tonight, but Pippi Lovestocking had to blow the cab driver instead of paying the fare and her tongue ring got stuck on his zipper."

This messy insult contest continues in between the fine, quality acts that perform each week. I think the only requirement to be an act is the willingness to humiliate yourself publicly. All the routines are loosely grouped into the evening's theme. Some popular nights have been Cher night (lots of wigs and not much clothing,) German night (mock yodeling and beer spitting into the audience,) white trash night (hot dogs and spitting beer into the audience,) and of course Halloween (carnage and blood spitting into the audience).

Low-class potty-humor loving Americans that we are, the crowd eats this stuff up. I am continually amazed at the levels that people will go to be shocking and profane, and continually jealous that I didn't think of them first.

Tranny is always crowded. Not only that, but it is packed full of six foot tall drag queens sporting four inch heels. For me this means that I won't be able to see any of the show standing on the floor in front of the stage. Fortunately there are speaker cabinets in the back of the room and an inclined stairway for the more vertically challenged of us. I may have to shove someone off to make room, but the right to use nastiness is part of this evening's charm.

The show ends around 2AM, but the Stud is blessed with a license that allows them to stay open until 3. This way people can dance off some of that liquor (the drinks are small but pack a wallop!), look for the nights' "date", and wait until the 2AM cab void has ended. Trannyshack is a blast but hard to handle when you have to get up early the next day for work. For those of us who don't mind losing a little sleep for the joy of watching messy queens put on a show, this night is worth the hangover. You haven't experienced it if you don't wake up with one.

by Camper English

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