There are places you like so much you don’t want to tell anyone for fear of it being overrun by this week’s "in" crowd. Well, I’m going to risk ruining Trader Sam's, a pseudo-tropical nightspot deep in the Richmond, because Trader’s offers a unique experience no one should miss. Where else can you get a drink in a bowl and go to "Hawaii" without paying a cent in airfare?

There’s really no need for the huge glowing orange arrow pointing down to Trader Sam’s, since Geary and 26th Avenue is not exactly club central. In fact, apart from a few Irish bars and some choice restaurants (Tommy’s Mexican Restaurant and the fabulous Khan Toke), it is a pretty desolate stretch of real estate. Once you get to Trader Sam's, though, I doubt you'll feel like club hopping anyway.

It may be foggy (and since this is the Richmond, why not just depend on it being foggy) but inside Trader Sam’s fancies itself as a little island getaway.  Funky tiki huts rim the tables that are pressed up against the walls to make room for the formidable bar which curves out like an oasis in the desert. The tables are all named after exotic island destinations, so you can pretend you are drinking that Scorpion Bowl in Blue Hawaii or Fiji. And if you drink a bowl or two on your own, you'll probably leave the place believing you really did spend the evening in the tropics.

The drinks are deceptively strong. The liquors, rum especially, are well hidden in drinks blended with orange sherbert. If you're game try one of the "death bowls" decorated with fruit and chintzy paper umbrellas. Plan on being in close quarters by the bar and watch out for those overflowing bowls as they tend to spill easily.

There is a menu of bowl drinks or rather, a list as there is no explanation of what goes into each bowl (there is usually a cocktail waitress you can ask). The classic bowl is the Scorpion with a delicious mix of champagne, rum, pineapple juice and a dash of coconut mixer. I hate coconut but this drink is sublime. Personally I’ve found a three girls to bowl ratio is best but feel free to experiment.

There are specialty drinks listed and many of these are actually quite tasty. One night I got this amazing orange concoction with sherbert. I am still recovering from a nasty run in with vodka and this was the first vodka I was able to stomach. Maybe because it tasted like that orange and vanilla checkered ice cream I used to eat as a child. The drink was better than sex. A friend of mine swears by this almond-y specialty at Trader’s, but I have an aversion to almond flavorings.

This is a strictly non-smoking bar (just wait and see what happens when the bartenders notice the smoke!) and with a place this packed, you’ll be happy this is enforced. And the Trader Sam’s scene is low-key so please take the tube tops elsewhere.  The crowd can be random--I've been there when a bachelorette party blew through, seen a couple of mullets, and once somebody showed up on a Friday night in thermal pants with a pair of boxers over them and classy thongs on his feet. Whatever.

So head for the tropics via Geary and 26th--but don't tell anyone I told you.