Rainbow Grocery

Folsom at 13th Street

by Melinda Whitehouse

 

 

Since I’m starting a new series of reviews entitled, "Cool Places Near My House," I thought I should start with the cool place closest to my house, Rainbow Grocery. I’ve been loathe to write about Rainbow before because the only thing I could think to say was, "Rainbow kicks ass." And Susan told me not that my reviews have to be a little more elaborate than "this thing sucks," or "yeah, baby, yeah." And, since she’s the big cheese editor, I’ll assume she knows what she’s talking about.

The thing is, however, that Rainbow really does kick ass. And not just because I live next door. And not just because I’m a veg head, and they don’t sell meat (although some say that it’s a meet market…get it? Meet/meat? Never mind). However, I realize that a lot of people choose to shop at places like Safeway, or Trader Joe’s, or the dented can store because they think Rainbow is too expensive. Granted, some of the items are pricey, but the bulk bins are such a bargain they balance it out. Besides, Rainbow is one of those hippy-dippy, earthy-crunchy, touchy-feely places that does crazy stuff like give money to worthy causes, and refuse to carry products made in sweat shops, so you can feel good about any extra money you happen to spend.

If that’s not enough to convert the Safeway drones, I’ll list the top ten coolest thing about Rainbow. Ready?

  1. Spices, Spices, Spices:

    2. The cool secret about Rainbow is its bulk spice section (now new, improved, and more sanitary). Anywhere else, a dozen Bay Leaves will run you about 4 bucks. At Rainbow, 50 cents. I buy my cinnamon and cayenne by the 40 cent paper baggie. I think the idea is to transfer the spices into jars, but I’m not that with it. I have a cabinet full of little paper baggies, and I love it.

  2. Bulky Bulk:

    3. Until I visited Rainbows bulk section, I never knew how many different kinds of pasta there are, or rice, lentils, salt (seven, yes seven types of salt) beans, flour, olive oil, and sugar. I also figured out that I’ve been paying way too much for boxes and packages.

  3. Shiny Happy People:

    4. Rainbow is a co-op. That means that the people who work there actually give a shit. It’s great. They don’t wear stupid uniforms, or ask if you want help out with that, and, best of all, they pierce stuff, and dye their hair freaky colors.

  4. Freaky Stuff for Skin and Hair:

    5. Like: temporary hair dye in all kinds of kooky colors, permanent hair dye in all kinds of normal colors, bulk shampoo and conditioner (I buy Nature’s Gate Original because it smells like perfume, but doesn’t make you want to puke if you get it up your nose) toothpaste, make-up, nail polish, skin creams, pretty soaps, ugly soaps, baby care, and tons of other stuff that you don’t have to run to PETA before buying.

  5. Organic Bananas:

    6. And apples, and tomatoes, and kumquats, and some stuff you’ve never heard of. You know what they say, "once you go organic, you never go back." I don’t know. Someone must say that.

  6. Olives:

    7. I’m not talking about a few Kalamatas and some vinegar soaked green things stuffed with mushy pimentos. No. I’m talking fresh, tasty olives from all over the world. My current favorite is the olives with cumin and hot peppers. There are so many of them, you could get them all and then invite your friends over for an olive tasting party. However, if you did that, you’d be a big dork and all your friends would laugh at you. Olive party—wow, what a stupid idea!

  7. Dogs and Apartments:

    8. Or an apartment for your dog. Rainbow has a community bulletin board. I’ve never used it myself, but one of the Posthoc writers needed a sublet, I sent her to the good old community board at Rainbow, and she found a place immediately. Hooray! She got deported not too long after, but that’s not Rainbow's fault.

  8. Cool Stuff No One Else Has:

    9. Like Tuno, vegetarian tuna. Rainbow also has some good stuff that no one else carries, like vitamins and teas that de-tox, de-stress, boost your sex drive, enhance mood, ease menstrual cramps, and treat anything anyone could possibly be suffering from. Tofurkeys for Thanksgiving, vegan chocolate hearts for Valentines Day, organic beer and wine, and baked goods that accommodate every food allergy known to medical science. They have great rice bread for the digestively challenged that tastes just like Pepperidge Farm’s white bread. Oh yeah. You know what I’m talking about. Toast a couple slices and throw on some soy margarine, and you’re in wheat-free heaven, baby.

  9. It’s Going to be a Rainbow Christmas:

    10. Where else could you buy your mom an incense holder shaped like Buddha? They also have: children’s toys that you won’t find at the mall, bells, whistles, scented candles, cook books, yoga mats, and lots of pretty paper to wrap it all up.

  10. This ain’t your father’s Muzak:

Rainbow has a kick ass CD collection. I’m so jealous. Techno, Tom Waits, Paul Simon, Madonna, tons of local bands, and twice now I’ve heard some super cool old school Dolly Parton. Oh yeah.

 

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