Kona Village Resort

Would I go again? Yes. If they took a zero off the day's rate

Ambience: Tropical paradise

Crowd: Wealthy hippy families who own both a Range Rover and a Prius and who are here for the 19th time

Best: Hearing the waves at night

Worst: Hauling our suitcases half a mile along a sandy road to our car because we hadn't "booked" someone to pick them up from our room upon departure

Kona Village Resort and the Four Seasons are right up next to each other on the lava of the Kona Coast on the Big Island. They couldn't be more different. The Four Seasons is the height of over the top service, squeaky clean amenitities, and excellent service but with a bit of a corporate vibe. Kona Village looks like its hey day was back in the Seventies (twenty years before the Four Seasons arrived as a neighbor) and the service while friendly isn't terribly good. But the clientele are fiercely local and probably secretly thrilled everytime someone gives the resort a negative review. All the more room for them! Kona Village is a spendy family camp that is perhaps resting on past glowing reviews.

Rather than boring old traditional rooms, guests at Kona Village stay in hales which are Hawaiian cottages with thatched roofs. Some of the hales at the resort are right up on the beach while others are spread around the tropical ponds and woods. The latter, while cosy looking and I suspect appealing to kids, appear as if they'd be a fine breeding ground for numerous buggies. We stuck to the staying by the ocean. Very pleasant hearing the waves of the sea at night. The hales are plain inside - no air conditioning, tv or radio and probably looked as they did inside twenty years ago.

The way the resort works is that you pay a flat rate fee and that includes most of the activities at the resort and your meals. By activities, that means using the kayaks or snorkeling equipment. You still have to pay $25 for a yoga class which seemed a bit steep! Once you settle into the rhythm of the resort, you'll notice some similarities between Kona Village and camp. Nothing much changes year to year or day to day. No doubt that is the appeal to many of the repeat guests.

The highlight of the resort is the wonderful beach that looks out towards the West. You can walk into the water and within ten feet put your head down with your snorkel gear on and see dazzling colorful fish. And during whale season, you'll see the whales jumping farther off shore as we did. Kids go nuts for this beach and there's a raft a little ways out in the water which is great for practicing your dive bombs.

For those who want swimming pool swimming, there are two small pools. They are surrounded by deadly uncomfortable chairs that saw their heyday during the Reagan years. Best to stick to the beach.

The food is iffy and the portions skimpy. The second night we snuck out through the gate that separates the Kona Village Resort and the Four Seasons and had dinner at the Four Seasons so as to avoid a less enchanting meal at Kona Village as we'd had the first night. I suspect the fact that the food is included in the daily rate is what accounts for its lack of appeal. There's little incentive to impress.

There's a very small gym and a couple of massage rooms. The highlight of the gym was noticing that both Larry Ellison and Steve Jobs have come with their families to the resort many times - their names were on the frequent guest board. Nuts! I find it really hard to fathom paying as much as we did for what we got more than once in my life. For a tenth of the price you could go to Emandal on the Eel River and have far better food, be cut off from email, and save your pennies. Silly rich hippies who want to get away from it all and live simply AND pay to do so dearly, I don't get it.

One week at the resort for a couple costs about $9000 if they get a hale on the ocean front.