TWO TO ONE

Other articles in FemANON:

My list keeps me single, thank goodness

Horrible dancing partners that my mother didn't tell me about

I'm turning into a Marina-chick, help me, help me

That's the ratio of women to men in the city of San Francisco. Read: high competition for straight men in this goddamn town and far too many smart, beautiful and talented women that come in and swoop in on what's rightfully mine!

There is and isn't a shortage at the same time. People are moving to San Francisco and the Bay Area on a daily basis(enter statistic here) and are calling "The City By The Bay" as their home. But why can't I find a boyfriend? It is a worldwide known fact that San Francisco is a hard place to find a mate.

I’ll tell you why: I'm picky. As each new graduating class from said Ivy League/state/university move here they're making a contribution to the male populace. They dilute the Y chromosome community with the "dumb, young and full of cum" boys and limit a woman's chance to find and weed out the smart, financially secure and mature man. They are men after all, but to put it bluntly, they're dumb, dumb, dumb. The maturation gestation period is too freaking long, and the competition is fierce.

Good men I can't date:

• I can't date my male friends because I've already "done it" once while in college so there's no need to repeat that business.
• Co-workers. That’s a no-no. Even though they have a job, a car, a life, no fishing off the company pier or dipping my pen in the company ink well.
• I can't date the boys at the local watering hole. First of all, word gets around rather quickly. If I date enough of 'em, I'm considered the bar welcome mat. Plus they're lushes because that's all they do: hang around the bar.
• I can't date my roommates ex's. No explanation needed.

Solutions for weeding out the freaks and upping my chances:

• Go to a different bar(ahhh! the light goes on)
• Go out with your girlfriend's friend from college.
• Go on a blind date.
• Work out more at the gym and check out the boys there(good bodies, health conscientious, its a start...)
• Flirt with waiters and learn their name. They have a job and work hard for their money.
• Befriend a cute guy on the express. I know they have a job and they dress nicely.
• Don’t say "no" to any potential date. That way I've done my research. Even if they are a freak, chalk it up to experience and I apply it to my next date nightmare.
• Date a man from a different state. Southern men are divine and flattering. Men from Michigan are funny. Men from the North West are outdoorsy and outgoing(great bods!). Men from Boston dress nicely, wear cords and chambray shirts and their accents are to die for! When they come into town, they take you out to dinner, treat you well, use nice manners, plus all of these men live in another state!
• Don’t "go all of the way" on the first date. It lowers your self-esteem, plus you just gave something away that some men will wait months for. It’s power. Use it. If they ask you out again after a night of no affection, good work!

Don’t become a statistic!

ANON

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