Minimum Commitment Volunteering:

For those who need a quickie do-good fix

by Camper English

 

Most people are surprised when I tell them that I do volunteer work on the weekends. I don't know if that's because they know I don't like old people or children or the homeless or people in general, or if it's because they assume that since I'm still on the dancefloor at 3AM I won't be able to get up at 8 on Saturday morning. I must admit I'm not the typical volunteer in my group. Most people don't take a break between planting trees to have a cigarette. Most of them aren't talking as loudly as I am because their ears aren't still ringing from humping the speaker the previous night. All of them are a lot less hungover.

I think another reason that friends assume I wouldn't volunteer is because I'm selfish. A "Selfish Asshole," in fact. I won't deny it. I don't think doing volunteer work makes you any less selfish, despite its reputation. Volunteer groups spend so much time in "appreciation" that I find it annoying. I just do my bit then leave. I don't do it cause I want someone else to recognize that I'm a good person, I do it to even out my karma. I figure that if I help clean up the park every now and then I am more justified in being more cruel to the general populace. I do my share for the homeless so I can kick them out of my way when they're passed out blocking my front door, and they can pry spare change out of my cold dead fingers.

I also volunteer as a reason to get out of bed on the weekends. If you're the typical posthoc reader, you probably awake on Saturday having already missed brunch at Ti Couz and notice that it's 80 degrees out. You curse yourself for not getting up earlier and working on your savage tan on Stinson Beach. If you had signed up for the Stinson Beach Cleanup Crew, you would already be there, tanned, and have done something worthwhile with your day.

If you are new to The City, or if you're someone who tends to stick to one area, volunteering is a great way to get out and explore new places. I've seen neighborhoods that I didn't even know existed. I've found tons of new parks and bars and picked out my dream 'hood if I were lucky enough to be shopping for a house. (Bernal Heights is so on.)

A lot of people start volunteering as a way to meet new people. The people that I've met are, dare I say it, nice. They are normal and lead normal lives as far as I can tell. During volunteer time is the only time I ever meet normal people at all. (It seems they don't hang out in the ghetto or in the dive bars I frequent.) They generally have jobs with regular hours and cars and nice apartments and aren't the standard freaks you find in daily existence. I could make some friends if I could relate to whatever it is that normal people do. Obviously nobody but a superfreak is right for me to date, but I see tons of opportunities for others. Mind you, these are people whom you might have to wait until the second date to screw.

So I've convinced you to volunteer? Swell! Now let me tell you where. We of the cyber lifestyle (that's you and me) don't have time for weekly, long term commitments. We like to get in, get out , badda bing, badda boom. Have I found the perfect organization for you! Hands On San Francisco is a group that coordinates one-off volunteer activities with other organizations. They only do nights and weekends and their purpose is to make it easier for young people to volunteer. They do projects in Environment (such as tree planting with Friends of the Urban Forest and beach clean up), Seniors (like playing Bingo and bringing puppies for them to play with), Children and Teen Enrichment (such as going on bike rides to Marin, tutoring, and arts and crafts), HIV/AIDS services (like helping Project Open Hand prepare and deliver dinners), Homelessness and Hunger (preparing lunches, sorting donations, serving food), and People with Special Needs (working with the Special Olympics).

To join Hands On, you simply go to an orientation meeting (where you fill out release forms mostly), then you receive a calendar each month or check their web page to choose which activities you would like to participate in. All of them are quick and easy, and some of them even serve dinner afterwards. You can find out the schedule of new volunteer orientations on the Projects page of the Hands On website. Tell them Camper sent you!

 

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