Legalized Gambling Is Fun

by Amanda McPherson

 

 

Friday nights, I could do a lot of things. I have endless options. But where can I bet money on straining muscled flesh locked in a pursuit for the ultimate goal? Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: The Power Exchange! And you’re probably right, I could do that. But instead, last weekend I grabbed two of my friends and headed to Bay Meadows [www.baymeadows.com] to bet on the ponies.

Now, I am a firm believer in the serenity gambling can provide. Either you’re thrilled after you win or you’re forced to examine the transience of success and the inconsequentiality of material wealth. It’s a Zen thing, Baby!

Bay Meadows offers a real deal on certain Friday nights. If you’re under 30 (ageism!) you can get in for a buck, drink a Miller in a plastic cup for a buck all while stuffing your face with a boiled hotdog (for a buck). The Alley Boys (fresh off their tour with AC/DC!) were rumored to be playing that night, but I never could seem to find them.

I usually bet five bucks per race. There are eight races a night. So that could cost you forty bucks. Now, I usually spend that on drinks on a good night, so that ain’t too bad. But if you’re a talented horse picker like me, you may just make money, and I usually don’t have that option on a Friday night unless I . . . (Fill in easy sex joke here _____).

My tips for horse picking:

  1. "Wow, he just relieved himself pre-race. He’s lighter!"
  2. He’s gray. We like gray.
  3. If you take all the letters in his name, get rid of a few, add a few and change their order, it spells AMANDA!
  4. It’s a long shot. A really long shot. Thus, more money if we win.

It may sound stupid, but collectively, my betting posse and I won $170! (I only won $10 but oh how I loved those hot dogs.) Plus, we got to enjoy the fine aroma of stale beer and cigarettes and savor the company of people on crutches. There were lots and lots of people on crutches at Bay Meadows. Gambling, loan sharks hitting knee caps. Coincidence? I think not.

Lucky for us there are signs everywhere saying, "If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, call 800-bets-r-off." I am so glad they’re concerned. I wouldn’t look good in a cast.
 

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