Don’t Even Think About Drinking Here, Poser

by amanda mcpherson

A few weeks ago, while calmly perusing Dog Bites in the Weekly I was astonished to learn about the latest battle that is the War Against Yuppies (WAY) in the Mission. According to DB, some vandals punched out a window and graffitied the newest focal point for hate, Beauty Bar. Besides breaking the front window, they also spray painted, "Yuppies out of the Mission," "Fuck You," and my personal favorite, "Poser Hangout."

Poser Hangout? I can understand the political activism taking place in the Mission. I can understand the motives behind vandalizing $300,000 lofts that even this yuppie can’t afford. I can understand the ill will all of those folks earning millions on stock options for .com companies arise in working families struggling to make it in our ever increasingly expensive city. Local political action often has to get extreme before real change is struck. But how does attacking a bar for the coolness quotient of its patrons compare to real political action targeted at a worthy cause?

I’m sure the people responsible don’t like the kind of people Beauty Bar attracts. I’ve been there once – with posthoc friends for some private Web-connected party. I’m sure the assailants didn’t like all of us "Wired" folks with our good jobs and running vehicles and expensive haircuts brushing past them on the way to our soirée. I probably wouldn’t like us much either, but my self-loathing is too big of a topic to tackle here.

What upsets me about the vandalism is the pettiness of the message. They didn’t spraypaint, "Bars out of the Mission," or "No More Liquor" across the walls. Obviously if Beauty Bar were cooler, had more street cred, didn’t offer manicures with its martini’s for God’s sake, it wouldn’t be a target. All those people cutting their lips on chipped glasses at Clooney’s are OK and undisturbed. All of those rockabillies smoking cigarettes at 500 Club are OK. Targeting a business for its "poserness" is a prank worthy of highschool. These people have too much time on their hands and too much money to be spending on spray paint. I’ve been told people around the country have taken to calling San Francisco, "Shallow Frisco." And lately, I don’t blame them.

If you believe in Karma (as I do now, suddenly, after seeing a bloody Fabio hit by a bird on a promotional roller coaster ride) then the vandals will soon be evicted via landlord move-in out of their $300 Mission two bedrooms. Then, soon after, the stock market will crash leaving those landlords with nothing except an over-priced, basically worthless Mission apartment building they’ll have to live in the rest of their lives or go bankrupt. This is the way I’d like to see the conflict resolved. Since I don’t have any stock options, I’ll be left unscathed. Then maybe I can get a cool apartment and hang out in the "real" bars of the Mission. Poser no more! One can only hope.

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